Introduction
- A Brief Word
- What Research on Psychological Abuse Tells Us
Dr. Avery NealNew Book · September 17, 2026
Loving You Shouldn't Be Hurting Me
Psychological Abuse and Its Effects on Physical and Mental Health — a groundbreaking investigation offering a definitive plan for recognizing and overcoming intimate partner violence and the breadth of its impact.
From international author, speaker, and psychotherapist Dr. Avery Neal. Foreword by Dr. Alex Howard.
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57.6 million
women in the U.S. have experienced psychological aggression
Nearly half
of women worldwide are affected by this invisible cruelty
1 framework
the Neal Method and CLEAR framework for recovery
About the book
The book we have all needed.
"Dr. Neal leads the way academically — not simply synthesizing what is already understood, but contributing to it and moving it forward. I could not be more glad that you have Dr. Neal as your guide."
Anyone trapped in an unhealthy, toxic, or controlling relationship will find a clear path forward in this book — whether the relationship is ongoing, long over, or rooted in childhood trauma.
Those who have experienced physical or mental health symptoms as a result of chronic manipulation will find immediate validation and a comprehensive roadmap on how to truly heal the mind, body, and spirit.
Clinical research indicates that subtle psychological abuse inflicts the most devastating damage. This book addresses that global crisis head-on — and while women are most often affected, it explicitly addresses how men and children are impacted too.
"Every survivor, every loved one, and every professional who supports them should read this remarkable book."
Inside the book
Characteristics of Psychological Abuse
- Psychological Abuse as the Underpinning of All Forms of Abuse
- Characteristics of Someone Who Abuses
- Profile of a Victim of Abuse
- Dynamics of an Abusive Relationship
What Happens to the Body and the Mind
- Intimate Partner Violence and Physical Health
- Intimate Partner Violence and Mental Health
- Psychological Abuse and the Nervous System
Let the Healing Begin
- The Path Forward: The Neal Method & CLEAR Framework
- Creating Healthier Relationships with Others and Ourselves
- Your Self-Esteem: Trust, Intuition, Worth, and Dignity
- Supporting Your Body
Pre-order bonuses
Every copy you buy unlocks more support.
Email your proof of purchase to info@averyneal.com to claim your bonuses. Copies you gift to a friend, a client, or a shelter all count toward your total.
The Recognizing Abuse Guide
A focused, printable resource to help you name what is happening — the patterns, the tactics, and the language for them.
Subtle Signs Course, Free
Get Dr. Neal's Subtle Signs course — self-paced, practical, and yours to keep.
All Three Courses, Free
Complete access to Dr. Neal's full course library, plus every reader resource above.
For organizations
Bring this work to your team, clinic, or community.
Hospitals, shelters, universities, therapy practices, and workplaces can put this book directly into the hands of the people who need it — and get Dr. Neal's guidance alongside it.
Strategy Session with Dr. Neal
A private 90-minute session for your leadership or clinical team on recognizing and responding to psychological abuse.
Live Team Training + Toolkit
A virtual training for your whole organization, plus licensed access to Dr. Neal's courses for your staff.
A Custom Edition for Your Organization
A custom-printed edition of the book with a foreword and cover branded for your organization, plus an on-site keynote.
About the author
Dr. Avery Neal
International author, speaker, and psychotherapist
Dr. Avery Neal has devoted her career to helping survivors of psychological abuse heal. She is the founder of the Women's Therapy Clinic and the author of If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?, published in multiple languages around the world.
Her work brings together clinical research, psychoeducation, and trauma-focused practice into the Neal Method — a path forward built on clarity, liberation, empowerment, autonomy, and resilience.
From readers around the world
Her first book already helped thousands find their way back to themselves.
If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? is the book that introduced readers to Dr. Neal's compassionate, research-backed approach to recognizing subtle abuse — and it is the perfect companion to her new release.
“Until recently, I was completely in denial of my abusive relationship. Every relationship has its unique markers and characteristics, and sadly many books on abuse seem to only categorize. This one helped me name what was happening.”
“This book gave me the language I needed to understand my experience. I only wish I had found it sooner.”
“Dr. Neal writes with the perfect balance of clinical insight and genuine compassion. For the first time, I did not feel alone in what I was going through.”
“I have recommended this book to every friend who has ever questioned their relationship. It is clear, validating, and genuinely life-changing.”
Launching September 17, 2026
Give someone the words for what they've been living.
Pre-orders decide how far a book travels. Yours helps this one reach the people still trying to name what is happening to them.